I've just come out of Mickey D's with a Big Mac large fries and a large 'shake.
A poor homeless woman sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told her 'I wish I had your will power.'
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.
A rather chunky girl served me in Mickey D's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.'
I said "don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually."
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and
said 'Any Change?' I said 'Nope, you're still black'
Snow in the forecast! The not so good-looking TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks "What is wrong??" The boy says "Me little
doggie has died." "Oh bejaysus," the man says, "Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you?"
The boy replies, "No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment."
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim,
I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an high shutter speed that it is
now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a
train or bus and think to yourself " I'm going to take that."
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him
"Where am I?" The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that freaking basket."
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