Guaranteed to offend someone :)

[Guns]

Had to have a blood transfusion the other day. All they had left was 2 pints of African blood, and 2 pints of Paki blood. It's not as bad as it sounds... I now have a 12 inch penis and I am top of the housing list.
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.

Got a right beating last night by a 6ft 7in black bloke. All I said was, golly you're tall.

Last week me and this Paki from work decided to have a moustache and beard growing competition. I still can't believe she won.

 They've had to cancel the pantomine  'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham, Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester & Luton because the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.

Muslim terrorisrs have gone on the rampage in Bradford, killing anyone who's English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 5.

Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!

[Apache]

 

[GfL]

Best one is the "golly you're tall"  lmao